I grew up believing we were poor. Now I know my parents lied — how do I get past this?
"For Love & Money" answers your relationship and money questions. This week, a reader realizes her parents lied about her family's financial position.
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This week, a reader was raised by her parents as if they were poor, but now realizes it was a lie.Our columnist suggests empathizing with her parents, focusing on the good, and rewriting their legacy.Dear For Love & Money,I grew up believing my family was poor.
My parents told us we were broke at every opportunity, and we lived in impoverished conditions. They always seemed stressed about money, and they made it seem like a lucky fluke that we never lost the house or had our utilities turned off.Fast forward 35 years, my mom and dad died within a few years of each other, and my sister and I inherited a life-changing amount of money.
As the executor, I'm working through the estate and learning that this money wasn't a one-time windfall or even the very gradual accumulation of poor people saving money. Apparently, they always made plenty.My parents stocked it away and were very careful with it, and I understand that living as frugally as we did is a big part of why we have this inheritance now, but I feel devastated.
They made us go without so much, and all for what? An inheritance that's wonderful, but that we don't actually need at this point in our lives.I look back at all the family vacations we didn't take and all the ways money could've enriched not only my childhood but also their lives and, by extension, my memories of them.
This wonderful inheritance feels like a stab to the heart. I don't know how to move on without letting this sour my memories.Sincerely,Hollow Legacy For Love & Money answers your relationship and money questions.
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